Reminder that there is a
real fun musical event on Saturday night at the UU church – located right next to Middleboro Town Hall. This is not a “church” event – it’s an event put on by a church – if that distinction matters to you
On Thursday we had a rehearsal of sorts to work out the sound and let the performers polish up their stuff. It got me thinking about my ongoing issues with stage fright.
When I’m performing regularly it’s not that bad – though there is always at least a twinge before the gig. If I haven’t played in a while or under certain conditions my stage fright is really bad. I’ve played in bands in various configurations since I was 17 or 18. The bigger the band, the less the stage fright because there are other people to hide behind.
Solo fears
I’ve always had a wicked mind block about playing totally solo. In a moment of sheer insanity I booked a gig for myself at the Flat Iron Cafe in Middleboro a couple of years ago. The two months leading up to it were filled with anxiety …… and rehearsal. When the night finally came, I’ll never forget standing in front of the packed room, all alone, guitar in hand, petrified, and staring into the dark gaping maw of three hours of just me on guitar, vocals, and the harmonica I had only started playing two months earlier. As I prepared to start playing I was thinking “What the hell am I doing here …. why am I putting myself through this”. The gig went well and I started playing solo acoustic semi-regularly and that went a long way to reducing my stage fright. That said, even though I was playing solo pretty regularly, I still had a lot of issues. I would move particularly difficult pieces around to accommodate my nervousness, and sometimes not play them at all. Self defeating and lame.
Flash forward to the UU event rehearsal on Thursday. I was able to get up cold and play a few songs without any extreme amounts of anxiety. This has been an unexpected benefit from joining the Middleboro UU church. In fact the whole UU experience has been positive and totally unexpected but that’s a different topic. Pretty early on they asked me to play a song during service. This is very different from playing a gig where you can be nervous and play kind of lamely on the first few songs before you warm up and hit your stride. You walk up cold to a quiet room that is actually listening. The first couple of times were pretty tough for me.
Each time I’ve played at service the congregation has been very genuinely supportive. Each time it got easier. Eventually I teamed up with Rob and started playing gigs and church services with him. Somewhere along the way the stage fright lessened to the point where I was doing rehearsal the other night in front of trained musicians, vocalists and really talented people. I had plenty of jitters but nothing that I couldn’t manage.
It’s not just music performing that is problematic. I get nervous when I speak at a selectman’s meeting or at town meeting. Shortly after I got sucked into town politics I had the ultimate trial by fire – speaking in front of several thousand people at the Town Meeting From Hell, appearing on Chet Curtis, and a Sunday news program in Providence. That was a tough gig.
Stage fright is a funny thing. I’m lucky that it’s not so severe that I can’t function when I need to. But I’d function a whole lot better if I didn’t have it.